WARNING: May tempt some to binge. Food is mentioned A LOT! There may be some curse words...
I'm going to assume you all know what this post is going to be about, from reading my title, but I suppose I'll inform you all anyways. Yesterday was supposed to be the third day of my "3 day jump start fast", but it didn't go as planned.
When I woke up, my best friend(Let's call him B) was knocking on my bedroom door with Starbucks and coffee cake. He'd bought my favorite drink from there, a Java chip frappacino and the aforementioned coffee cake. I'd already finished my frap and had a bite of coffee cake by the time I remembered my fast.
I told B I had been fasting after I remembered, we shared a laugh, and then the guilt began to sink in.
I wish I would have just continued on with the fast right after that frap and single bite of coffee cake, but nooooooooooo. I feel stupid, but I won't lie, I was in binge mode. We finished the coffee cake and then went to his place and spent two hours watching America's Next Top Model.
In the seemingly short time of watching it, we had consumed almost a pot of coffee each, and half a strawberry cheese cake.
Then I got a phone call from my mother asking me where I was. I had forgotten it was my aunt's birthday. My mother picked me up and I spent $10 at Walmart on a card that plays music and some eyeliner(Both for my aunt.)
When she asked me if I'd eaten, I said no! I hate myself for saying no and I really wish I had said yes, but I was still in binge mode. She then asked me if I wanted Starbucks, or Mc Donalds. I of course being addicted to Starbucks, said Starbucks. I got another Java chip frap and 2 cake pops! Like wth was wrong with me????
After I finished my "breakfast", I had her pick up B, so he could come with us to my aunts party.
At the party B, my cousin, and I swam a lot, but we also ate a lot. There was so much food! I binged on chips, red grapes, and cheese the whole time I was there!
When night fell, everyone sang the happy birthday song, and then there was cake, ice cream filled cake with cream cheese frosting. After B, my cousin, and I finished our cake, we were kinda bored. We played some video games for a while, but we didn't really feel like it.
B suggested we steal something alcoholic from the fridge or ice chest.
My cousin agreed, so I did too. They grabbed a few Bud Lite from the ice chest and I took a bottle of red wine that someone had kindly already opened and placed in a metal bowl thing with ice.
We then went swimming and got drunker than we'd ever been. I think my cousin dared B to kiss me, but I can't remember if we kissed... Keep in mind, B is gay, so it wouldn't have really mattered, but still... B and I ended up crashing on the couch at my cousins place.
I'm sure you can see that yesterday and last night was crazy. I'm too lazy to fix my post, so I'll just say it now, we barbecued for dinner.
I'm to scared to even try and tally up all the calories, but I'm sure it's more than 3,000. Fraps, coffee cake, cake pops, strawberry cheese cake, coffee, chips, cheese, red grapes, barbecued ribs, ice cream cake with cream cheese frosting, Bud Lite, and red wine all in one day.
It's no surprise that I woke up at noon, with a hangover, did my business in the down stairs bathroom, stumbled up the stairs to my aunts bathroom, weighed myself, and started crying. I really don't want to write what my weight is right now, but I suppose I have too.
I was 269.2 lbs 3 days ago when I started this fast, I was 266.8 lbs 2 days ago after 1 day on my fast, and I'm 276 lbs now, the day after the gargantuan binge.
Do you know what this fucking means?
I went through 2 days of not eating for absolutely nothing. I hate myself so much right now.
I gained 9.2 lbs in one day! Water weight or not, this is NOT acceptable!!
There are 13 days until my birthday and 20 days until I start school again. Do you know what this means? I have 20 days to lose 17 lbs! It's possible, but gah! 20 days to get to 259 lbs.
My class mates haven't seen me at that weight. The lowest I've ever been at that school is 280 lbs. I figure 21 lbs should make a slight difference.
Do you know how I'm going to lose this lard? A 13 day fast. It started at 1pm(When I woke up.) and it will end at 1pm the day before my birthday.
Since this is a longer fast, ALL liquids are allowed. Well, almost all. No fraps. Fraps seem to always lead to a binge day for me.
I'm going to do this. I have no choice. It's do or die, because the truth is I am obese. I have a greater chance of having a heart attack, or contracting heart disease than healthy, normal weight people my age.
So now begins "The Great 13 Day Fast"! (I know it's not a very creative name, but I suck at making titles...)
~Little Miss Imperfect
No comments:
Post a Comment