Day 1!

Is it possible to lose 16.8lbs in 10 days? Let me re-phrase that. Is it possible to lose 16.8lbs in 10 days if you are obese?

I know it's possible, but am I in the position to be able to do this? I stayed home sick today and am planning on fasting. I still am going to work at 3pm and hopefully I will complete my English essay and science section before that. 

Back to fasting. In the past, the greatest amount of weight I've lost from one day of fasting was 6lbs. Keep in mind I exercised for 2-3 hours and consumed a lot of water(about 3-4 liters.) If I fast today and lose 6lbs, I will most likely be able to reach my goal of 259lbs by October 20th.

This is so hard, all of it, and I hate it! The binging, the purging, the diet pills, the fasting, it all sucks! Will it ever end? Will I ever be thin? Will I stop all of this when I'm thin?

I needed to rant. It's just that I've been dieting since I was 9 years old. 6 years of saying, "This is my year, I will be thin! I can do this, I just have to try!" 6 years and it hasn't happened yet.

I'm going to say it one more time. "I WILL BE 50.8LBS THINNER BY JANUARY 1ST!!!!!!" I weigh 275.8lbs as of 10-10-11, 9am. I will weigh 225lbs by January 1st, 2012. I will weigh 175lbs by my 16th birthday, August 10, 2012. I will weigh 150lbs by January 1st, 2013! I WILL DO THIS!!!! TODAY IS DAY 1!!!!!!

Update!

I did Ana Boot Camp for a few days, but ended up having 3 pieces of pizza, so...Now I'm kind of fasting, but not really. Water, ice, Sugar Free Red Bull, Carbonated water, sugar free gum, coffee, and tea are allowed. If I feel like I'm really hungry, or if I fell like I may faint, fat free milk, applesauce, or pickles may be consumed.

I started this after my mini pizza binge last night at around 8pm. It's almost 3pm and since 8pm last night, I've had a bit of carbonated water, 1/2 a calcium pill, 1/2 a multivitamin, 1 Green Tea Fat Burner pill, 1 MetaboUP pill, and two 0 calorie pickle spears. With the pickle spears, I removed the seeds. The seeds are the worst part, so I don't eat them...

After the pizza last night, my scale said I weighed 280.8lbs, but this morning, my scale said I weighed 276lbs. I just took a shower and before I took it, I checked my weight. 274lbs. Isn't the body an amazing thing? I figure if I stick to this for a week, I can be 269lbs or less. I know that's only 5lbs, but I don't want to set unrealistic goals. My GW1 is 260lbs, which I can not wait to be again. It's been 2-3 months since I've been that weight. I haven't been under that weight since last year, or maybe the year before that. I have basically maintained between     260lbs-291lbs for 1-2 years.

When I reach 259lbs, I'm going to smile, I know I will. The Six Flags song will probably go threw my head and I'll smile wider. I can't wait!!!! I want to be 259 lbs by October 20th. 15lbs in 29 days is do-able. As long as I don't mess up, I'll do great.

I have to get ready for work, so later!!
~little miss imperfect

My Mother, My Therapist, and S.I.

<3 cut.

I don't know what I was thinking! I told her. I ALMOST told her EVERYTHING!!!!!


*sigh* I told my therapist about my "dieting", my fasting, my binging, my depression, my insomnia. Wtf was I thinking?!! I felt so vulnerable, hell I feel really vulnerable. I don't know why I did it, I really don't. What if she tells my mother??! I will die if she tells her! 


As soon as I got home, I cut for the first time in over 3 months...


That was hard for me...especially since I couldn't find my scalpel. I made a heart with a clothes pin I found and a long, rough line with my Geometry compass...


Fml, I promised B I'd never cut again. I need to tell him, or else he'll find out... God bless him. <3 I wouldn't be here without him and K.


After my episode of S.I, I binged. Bad.


I walked to Carl's Jr and bought not one, but TWO western bacon cheeseburgers and a regular fry... I couldn't even wait to get home, I hid behind a bush and inhaled them all... As if that wasn't enough, when I got home, I had a whole box of Chex cereal with fat free milk and sugar, and 2 cups of fat free vanilla frozen yogurt with about 4 tbsps of chocolate syrup. Afterwards, I cried. A lot, I've only just stopped crying after thinking up a new plan.


My new plan is more healthy than it is ana, but I want to see if I can diet like normal people. Have you had those days where you eat like 1600 calories? I gain weight on those days. However, I believe that's because I've fucked my metabolism into a nearly incorrigible state. I mean come on! I'm 270-something lbs and I gain weight eating what normal people eat on diets. I could understand if I was extremely underweight or something, but...


Anyways, My new plan: Mon-Fri *1200 max calories.
*32 oz min of water, carbonated or otherwise.
*No red meat, no pork, no fried chicken, no ham.
*Max 1-2 carby things each day.
*No fast food/eating out, except for Subway and Mae's Thai.
*No soda(I'm 257 days sober anyways.<3)
*0.25 miles/day at 5.0 mph on the treadmill. (I did it today and almost died.)
*25 bicep curls on each arm


Sat*1200 max calories.
*32 oz min of water, carbonated or otherwise.
*Only vegetables, fruit, non-fat yogurt, rice cakes, and soup.
*No soda.
*50 bicep curls on each arm.
*100 step ups(up and down stairs, calisthenics.)


Sun*Fast.
*800 max drink calories.
*40 oz min of water, carbonated or otherwise.
*50 bicep curls on each arm.


Is that a good plan for 2 weeks? I'd really like to get my dormant metabolism started again. I don't know what I'll do if I gain to 280 lbs on this. I never want to be that weight again. Ever. I took all of my measurements in cm, my body fat%, and my weight.



Of course I took them all after the binge, but whatevs.


Neck:43cm
Under Breasts:112cm
Waist:109cm
Hips:130cm
L Wrist:21cm
R Wrist:21cm
L Ankle:29cm
R Ankle:28cm
L Thigh-86cm
R Thigh:86cm
Weight:274lbs/124.55kgs
Body Fat %:47%


~LitTlE mIsS iMpErFeCt

Quickie Update

I broke the ABC like I expected. I however didn't mean to have 1400 calories today and only burn 50 on the treadmill. I've had WAAAAYY too much sodium today and am downing water like crazy to cancel it out. I've had around 2500 grams...

I'm planning on fasting, because this week will be busy. As B would say, I'm gonna be a busy bee. :) School, my new job, cleaning my whole house for my sleep over thingy this weekend, homework. *sigh* Although I don't have a set amount of time that I'll be fasting yet, it started at 8pm, 9/11 and is called "The Ava." I know, weird name for a fast, but whatevs.

Wish me luck my beauties, not that I need luck. :)

~LiTtLe MiSs ImPeRfEcT

Week 1=Done :)

It's been exactly 1 week since I've posted and I have some positive updates to tell you all! (Can you tell I'm excited?) In 7 days, I've gone from 278lbs to...271lbs! I love losing a pound a day. :)

I did not however go raw. I couldn't, because my mother wouldn't buy food. She told me I could eat what's there and when it's gone she'll buy more. I'm not blaming her though, because we don't really have money to buy food. After taxes, we get around $250 each week, which isn't a whole lot. Especially when we both have cell phone bills, a cable bill, and an electric bill, not to mention we have to buy propane for hot water. I'm sure there are other things we need to buy, but I'm tired and don't want to think about it right now.

The first 3 days this week I pretty much maintained my weight, but then on day 4, I began Ana Boot Camp. Although I'm doing well, I'm already bored with it. (The farthest I've ever gotten to was 3 days.) I'm on day 4, which means I'm as far as I've ever been which for now is good enough for me.
I found someone who completed the ABC, she went from 153lbs to 91.4lbs. 61.6lbs in 50 days is amazing and life changing. Her username on WhyEat.net is anaxmyxpassion and here's the link:  http://www.whyeat.net/forum/threads/2416-Ana-Boot-Camp?highlight=boot+camp

I was friends with this girl, let's call her April, 2 years ago and I was jealous of her confidence, her style, and her thinness. I hadn't seen her in 2 years, but K, April, and I hung out yesterday for 5 hours. We went to the movies, the funky monkey, and a cafe. We snuck Pringles, 2 sugar free Red Bulls, and 1 Regular Red Bull into the movie. I had half of a Pringle and a sugar free Red Bull, K had a handful of Pringles, and a Red Bull, but April had nothing. At the cafe, we all got water, K and I got coffee(mine black, his with cream and sugar), and K ordered a plate of frys for us to share. April sipped her sugar free Red Bull and had 1 small fry that was more like half of a fry the whole hour we were there. When I asked her about it she said she didn't eat. Apparently at 8th grade graduation, some bitch told her she looked fat in her dress, so she stopped eating.Yesterday I could see her collar bone, and hip bones, she had a flat/slightly concave stomach and wore size 0/2 jeans(she's 5'9"!) When I hugged her, I could feel the bones on her back. I asked her if she had an eating disorder and she told me that for about a year she was bulimic, but wasn't anymore. I have no female friends, so I hope her and I will get closer, also K likes her. <3 I don't know though if I should tell her about my EDNOS and BED, and let her do whatever, or if I should try to help her eat. My guess is that she has anorexia or bulimia.

I don't know what to do!

She's sleeping over this weekend or next weekend though, so I think we'll be friends. I am so confused, ugh. :(

Well, enough of my ranting, this post is really long. If I can't find time to post during this week, I'll post this weekend.
Until next time, ~Little Miss Imperfect

 

I'm Back!

I'd first like to apologize for being MIA(Missing in action, not bulimia.) for nearly a month. I don't have a great excuse, but this is my blog and I can post when I'd like... School started a few weeks ago and I've had an extreme amount of homework. I gained weight...A lot of weight... Well, I'm not at my highest of 291lbs again, or at 280lbs again, but I am 278lbs-AGAIN. Unacceptable, I was supposed to be around 235-240 now. I made a decision today though, well just a few minutes ago actually.

I'm going raw. Well, not completely, but mostly. I plan to still allow applesauce, and every once and a while oatmeal, cereal, tuna, and bagels. Lots of water, and a little fat free milk and juice. I'll be taking the teen one-a-day pills, calcium pills, and if I need a boost, green tea pills/fish oil pills.

I haven't really thought of a calorie limit, but eating mostly raw, how many calories can I really possibly consume? I'll make my limit 1200. That's generous, right? I mean a can of fruit is 100 calories, a mini can is 70, applesauce is 70. I'd have to eat a whole bag of bagels to surpass that, so as long as I don't binge, I'll be fine.

At first, I thought 10-15lbs a month wasn't that much, because if I follow my diet I usually lose 1-2lbs a day, but I did the math and if I lose 10 lbs a month than by my junior year of high school(11 months) I'll be 168lbs. That's 60 lbs away from my goal, but that's a LOT closer than being 170lbs away. So that's my goal. 10-15lbs per month.

I know that for the first month or so, I'll lose a lot faster, but I know it will slow down.

As I said, I have a lot of homework every day and I don't have time to post every day. I promise I'll post whenever I can, even if it's just a quick update, but if I'm gone for a few days, or even a week, just know that I'm still on. I'm going to do this.

Failure is no longer an option.

~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 3/50 of The ABC Diet-300 calories

WARNING:MAY CONTAIN SWEAR WORDS.

Day 3 Intake:
1 cup of Apple Jacks Cereal-100 calories
.72 cup of fat free milk-62 calories
1/2 cup of creamed corn-70 calories
2 blueberry bagels-560 calories
I Can't Believe it's Not Butter-0 calories
Tabasco-0 calories
1/2 cup of popcorn-50 calories
1 green tea extract pill-0 calories
16.9 oz of cold water-0 calories


The above is a list of everything I consumed on day 3 of the ABC diet, 8-7-11. It adds up to 842 calories.

Yes I know it was a 300 calorie day. I went over by 542 calories and burned 600+ calories walking around the mall for almost 5 hours.

The only reason I'm not stopping is so that I''ll reach my goal of 255 lbs by August 16th, August 17th at the latest. I still lost weight even though I went over, so I'm going to count it. I'm sure if I would have stuck to the 300 calories, I would be down 2-3 lbs instead of 1, but...

I'm getting nervous for school. In my first year there, K attended it with me, so I always had someone to talk to and hang around with, but this year he's going to a private school and I'm being left behind... Almost all of the friends I made switched schools too.

The only good thing I can think of is that there's more time for me to concentrate on my school work and on my weight loss, and physical education. I hated it last year, but this year I'm going to get a fricking A++++++ in it. Lol. We usually walk a few miles every day, or play a sport such as badminton, soft ball, basket ball, or kick ball. Every once in a while we have the mile, but I've never done it. Every time I've been the person that writes down that they've completed the course. I think I'll just walk it this time. It's better than nothing right? We do physical education testing once a year. I scored well...

I have a feeling I'm going to be by myself this year. I've had a lot of dreams about school recently. In one this girl I used to hang out with, but I guess wasn't planning on hanging out with in my dream came up to me with her arms open for a hug and said hey teddy bear(My nickname, because I'm fat.) and I said fuck off and walked away. Lol. My dream self is cool. =]

I'm going to read this awesome fan fiction called: Model Behavior. If you get a chance, check it out.

~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 2/50 of The ABC Diet-500 calories

Day 2 Intake:
1.5 cups of Life Cereal-240 calories
.72 cup of fat free milk-62 calories
1 piece of Orowheat Health Full bread-80 calories
1 small tomato-16 calories
1 tsp of Morehouse mustard-0 calories
8 oz of raspberry green tea V8 Fusion-50 calories
1 green tea fat burner pill-0 calories
1 green tea extract pill-0 calories
16.9 oz of cold water-0 calories


The above is a list of everything I consumed on day 2 of the ABC diet, 8-6-11. It adds up to 448 calories.


I was successful on day 2. :) I haven't attempted this diet since I was 11 or 12 years old. Back then it was more difficult for me and I didn't get past day 2. I can't wait to write how much weight I've lost on day 8. It's coming off really fast(Good or bad?)


K and I may go to the mall and get Thai food today. Yes I know, bad! If I get the soup and only eat the meat and noodles, no broth, It will be 293 calories. I did my research.


I know I'll be hungry later, but oh well. It's hard for me to say no to B and K. B however understands that I'm losing weight, so stopped offering me food.


~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 1/50 of The ABC Diet-500 calories

WARNING: Mentions food! Food WILL be mentioned in many posts from now on.

Day 1 Intake:
3/4 cup of Life Cereal-120 calories
.72 cup of fat free milk-62 calories
2 pieces of Orowheat Country Potato bread-200 calories
1.5 medium tomatoes-38 calories
2 tsp of Morehouse mustard-0 calories
12 oz of raspberry green tea V8 Fusion-80 calories
2 green tea fat burner pills-0 calories
1 green tea extract pill-0 calories
50.7 oz of cold water-0 calories


The above is a list of everything I consumed on day 1 of the ABC diet, 8-5-11. It adds up to exactly 500 calories. ;)


Cereal w/ milk for breakfast, a tomato and mustard sandwich for lunch(1 slice of bread!), another tomato and mustard sandwich for dinner, a pill before every meal, V8 Fusion while watching shark week, and water while watching The Perfect Body, Dying to Dance, and Thirteen on Youtube
Exercise was pretty much nonexistent, unless you count walking up and down the stairs a few times and walking to the bathroom.


Overall, I think it was a pretty good day.


My birthday's in 4 days. That's a good and bad thing. Good because I get to see my grandparents, K, and B. Good because I get gifts. Good because I can get my drivers permit 6 months from it. Bad because of cake. Bad because of pie. Bad because of ice cream. Bad because of any kind of food that my mother will undoubtedly have there.


I don't know what I'm going to do. My birthday is on Day 6 which is a 200 calorie day. I wish it were a 500 calorie day... I don't know if I should fake sick(Probably wouldn't work), switch a higher calorie day for it, or if I should not eat much in the next few days and add the calories I don't eat onto the calories on my birthday. *Sigh*


I'll talk to B and see what he thinks.


~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 0/50 of The ABC Diet

I'm exhausted, ache all over, have sun burn, and am about to pass out, but I need to type this post. Tubing was fun. We did it for 3 and a half hours and burned tons of calories doing it. I followed the 900 calories of food a day and the 500 calories of liquid a day, but for whatever reason, I still gained weight. I can't think of why, other than my metabolism is really slow, so if you have any idea why, please leave a comment.

When I say I gained weight, I don't mean a pound or two, I mean I'm 273 lbs now. I gained 9.6 lbs in 5 days of eating healthy and exercising! How does that happen!?? When they offered me anything remotely unhealthy, I denied it!

As I said I'm really tired, so I'll speed this up. I'm going on the ABC/Ana Boot Camp Diet from midnight tomorrow, until September 23rd. Here are my shameful statistics:

Week 0 of the ABC:
CW/SW: 273 lbs
Bust Size: 43 inch
Hip Size: 51 inch
Waist Size: 41 1/2 inch
Weight Lost: 0 lbs
% of Weight Lost: 0 %

I'll check in once per week with my new set of statistics and hopefully once per day with what I've eaten/how much I've exercised.

~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 4 of The Great 13 Day Fast: Good News and Bad News

WARNING: MENTIONS FOOD!


I have good and bad news. The bad news is when my mother found out I was fasting, she was completely against it. She almost force-fed me right there(Thank goodness she didn't!) When I told her I had only fasted for 4 days, she didn't believe me, we had a HUGE fight and are barely on speaking terms.


She called our family doctor(Call her Dr. H) who inconveniently had an opening for 11am today. When we got there, Dr. H weighed me, checked my blood pressure(118/76), and did other things. Dr. H told my mother that she had no reason to not believe me and that other than the fact that I'm obese, I'm perfectly healthy.


Dr. H advised me to stop my fast. Which I said I would(wasn't planning on it, just lying.)


On the drive back home, my mother stopped at Taco Bell, got one of those box things(1 taco, a gordita, and a burrito supreme!!!) and a large Pepsi for herself, and ordered a nacho Bel grande and a 7 layer burrito for me.


As soon as she got the food, she parked us in the parking lot and gave me my food. I was arguing the whole time. She knows that after stopping a fast you're supposed to slowly get back into food with vegetables and fruit, the doctor fricking told her even!


She told me to shut up and eat or she would take away my computer, cell phone, and not allow me to see B or K.


By then I was crying and she had already eaten her taco and was almost done with her burrito supreme. I took a bite of the 7 layer burrito and gagged as I swallowed. It didn't even taste good, it tasted like grease! She was glaring at me, so I finished the 7 layer quickly and asked if we could go home. She started driving us home, while eating her gordita. Then she told me to eat the nacho Bel grande. Normally I would get a supreme at most, but the grandes are huge! I ate about half of it and she finished the rest.


I feel like a failure. I feel even fatter then I am and I wish I could have done something to have prevented this. When I got home, I tried to purge, but then remembered I promised myself I was going to stop doing that. This is so stressful, however, I'm sure you want the good news?


The good news is just now even after I ate that grease, even though I'm on my period, and even though it's 10pm already, I weigh in at 263.4lbs. That means that I lost 12.6 lbs in just under 4 days! I don't even care that most of it is water weight! I'm just glad to be out of the 270's and so close to the 250's.


Now I have 10 days until my birthday and 17 days until school starts. 17 days to lose 4.4 lbs=EASY! I could even get lower than 259lbs. Hmm...


My new plan is to lose 8.4 lbs by the day before school starts. That would put me at 255 lbs, a weight I haven't been at since October 18, 2009! 8.4 lbs in 16 days is do-able.


I'm not going to fast for a while. It's too hard to fast when I have to work from 5:30am to 12pm Mon-Fri. I think that for a while, I'm going to do what Dr. H said. She told me that even if I ate 2,000 calories of healthy food each day, I'd still lose weight. Now don't get me wrong, I like Dr. H, but she doesn't know of my slow metabolic rate. She doesn't know that eating 2,000 calories a day would either make me sick or trigger me to binge. My plan is to have 900 calories of healthy food(fruit, veggies, fish, etc.) each day and up to 400 calories of healthy liquid each day. Meaning that if I ate and drank all of my calories, I would still be at 1,300 calories. Not very impressing, even to me, but whatever.


Healthy drinks are water, V8 Fusion Light, green tea, ice tea, coffee, smoothies, fruit juices, Propel, and low cal Gatorade.


Obviously no soda. It's been 184 days since I've had it. :) No bread-y things like bagels, toast, or rolls.


I'll post again tomorrow!


~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 3 of The Great 13 Day Fast

3 days and 2 hours into The Great 13 Day Fast.

1pm yesterday to 1pm today was the third 24 hours of The Great 13 Day Fast. I had 8.6 oz of V8 Fusion(-108 calories-), 16.9 oz of water, and 2 Green Tea fat Burner diet pills.

I am extremely exhausted, so I'm going to take a nap...


~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 2 of The Great 13 Day Fast

2 days into The Great 13 Day Fast.

WARNING:Contains one swear word. =]

1pm yesterday to 1pm today was the second 24 hours of The Great 13 Day Fast. I didn't mess up, but I could have done better. I had 8 oz of grape juice(-140 calories-), 16.9 oz of water, and a Women's One-a-Day multivitamin.

I'm not sure if anyone is even reading this blog, but in case you care, I've decided to weigh myself on the 5th day of fasting, and on the day after the 13th day. Well, I weigh myself multiple times each day, but the 5th and the day after the 13th day will be my official weigh-ins. Meaning I post my weights here.

I have a problem.

On the 6th day of The Great 13 Day Fast, I'm going to visit my grandparents with my cousin and we're going to be doing vigorous activity on the 7th day. I don't know how long I'll be staying with them, but I should know in the next few days. I'm going to tell them a head of time that I'm not eating and that I would like them to not let me eat. I don't know how my g-parents will react, but I don't think my cousin gives a fuck.

(My same cousin from the B-day, Booze, Binge post.) I realized I never gave my cousin a name/letter. I'll call him K.

The activity we're doing on the 7th day involves a boat, and a tube thing(It's like a large circular object that is tied to the boat and pulled. You hold on to two handles for dear life as the boat goes faster and faster. My g-father likes to try and knock K and I off, so he goes really fast, or makes us go over waves, or flings us quickly to one side, or slows down. If he slows down, the tube thing goes almost all the way under water, with us still holding on, so our faces go under and it's really scary and hard to hold on.)

It's really fun, but we're doing it for 3 hours straight, only stopping for them to eat and to catch our breath. The thing I'm worried the most is about how hungry I'll be afterwards. Usually I'm absolutely ravenous!

I'm definitely going to bring sugar free gum, and a 6 pack of V8 Fusion(-50 to 120 calories each-) I'm really worried though. What if I eat or even worse, binge?!?!

I've attempted fasting at their house in the past, to no avail. My g-mother's cooking is amazing...

The good news however is that holding on to the "tube" is a killer workout! Your arm muscles are pulsing the whole time and are throbbing painfully by the end of an hour. If you slip a little, you have a few seconds to pull yourself up or your a goner. You try pulling up 260 something pounds quickly!

I don't want to go on and on forever, but I am extremely scared, worried, and panicked about fasting there.

I want to know that I can do this. I want to know that even when I'm starving and exhausted, I CAN resist temptation!

~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 1 of The Great 13 Day Fast

1 day and 5 hours into The Great 13 Day Fast.


1pm yesterday to 1pm today was the first 24 hours of The Great 13 Day Fast. I am happy to report that I did well! I had 33.8 oz of water, a multivitamin, and that is it. :)


I began cleaning my room as well. I put all of my dirty clothes in the laundry room. threw away all garbage, recycled my recyclables, placed things I no longer used in the down stairs closet, and organized my video games/DVDs.


Currently, I am drinking my first bottle of water. (Note to self:Drink more water!!!!)


It has been an uninteresting day and I don't have anything more to say. Hey, that rhymes. Lol.


I'll post again tomorrow. I'll probably read Fanfiction for the next hour or two, and then watch True Blood.


~Little Miss Imperfect

Birthday's, Booze, and a Binge

WARNING: May tempt some to binge. Food is mentioned A LOT! There may be some curse words...

I'm going to assume you all know what this post is going to be about, from reading my title, but I suppose I'll inform you all anyways. Yesterday was supposed to be the third day of my "3 day jump start fast", but it didn't go as planned.

When I woke up, my best friend(Let's call him B) was knocking on my bedroom door with Starbucks and coffee cake. He'd bought my favorite drink from there, a Java chip frappacino and the aforementioned coffee cake. I'd already finished my frap and had a bite of coffee cake by the time I remembered my fast. 

I told B I had been fasting after I remembered, we shared a laugh, and then the guilt began to sink in. 

I wish I would have just continued on with the fast right after that frap and single bite of coffee cake, but nooooooooooo. I feel stupid, but I won't lie, I was in binge mode. We finished the coffee cake and then went to his place and spent two hours watching America's Next Top Model.

In the seemingly short time of watching it, we had consumed almost a pot of coffee each, and half a strawberry cheese cake.

Then I got a phone call from my mother asking me where I was. I had forgotten it was my aunt's birthday. My mother picked me up and I spent $10 at Walmart on a card that plays music and some eyeliner(Both for my aunt.)

When she asked me if I'd eaten, I said no! I hate myself for saying no and I really wish I had said yes, but I was still in binge mode. She then asked me if I wanted Starbucks, or Mc Donalds. I of course being addicted to Starbucks, said Starbucks. I got another Java chip frap and 2 cake pops! Like wth was wrong with me????

After I finished my "breakfast", I had her pick up B, so he could come with us to my aunts party.

At the party B, my cousin, and I swam a lot, but we also ate a lot. There was so much food! I binged on chips, red grapes, and cheese the whole time I was there!

When night fell, everyone sang the happy birthday song, and then there was cake, ice cream filled cake with cream cheese frosting. After B, my cousin, and I finished our cake, we were kinda bored. We played some video games for a while, but we didn't really feel like it.

B suggested we steal something alcoholic from the fridge or ice chest.

My cousin agreed, so I did too. They grabbed a few Bud Lite from the ice chest and I took a bottle of red wine that someone had kindly already opened and placed in a metal bowl thing with ice.

We then went swimming and got drunker than we'd ever been. I think my cousin dared B to kiss me, but I can't remember if we kissed... Keep in mind, B is gay, so it wouldn't have really mattered, but still... B and I ended up crashing on the couch at my cousins place.

I'm sure you can see that yesterday and last night was crazy. I'm too lazy to fix my post, so I'll just say it now, we barbecued for dinner.

I'm to scared to even try and tally up all the calories, but I'm sure it's more than 3,000. Fraps, coffee cake, cake pops, strawberry cheese cake, coffee, chips, cheese, red grapes, barbecued ribs, ice cream cake with cream cheese frosting, Bud Lite, and red wine all in one day.

It's no surprise that I woke up at noon, with a hangover, did my business in the down stairs bathroom, stumbled up the stairs to my aunts bathroom, weighed myself, and started crying. I really don't want to write what my weight is right now, but I suppose I have too. 

I was 269.2 lbs 3 days ago when I started this fast, I was 266.8 lbs 2 days ago after 1 day on my fast, and I'm 276 lbs now, the day after the gargantuan binge.

Do you know what this fucking means?

I went through 2 days of not eating for absolutely nothing. I hate myself so much right now.

I gained 9.2 lbs in one day! Water weight or not, this is NOT acceptable!!

There are 13 days until my birthday and 20 days until I start school again. Do you know what this means? I have 20 days to lose 17 lbs!  It's possible, but gah! 20 days to get to 259 lbs.

My class mates haven't seen me at that weight. The lowest I've ever been at that school is 280 lbs. I figure 21 lbs should make a slight difference.

Do you know how I'm going to lose this lard? A 13 day fast. It started at 1pm(When I woke up.) and it will end at 1pm the day before my birthday.

Since this is a longer fast, ALL liquids are allowed. Well, almost all. No fraps. Fraps seem to always lead to a binge day for me.

I'm going to do this. I have no choice. It's do or die, because the truth is I am obese. I have a greater chance of having a heart attack, or contracting heart disease than healthy, normal weight people my age.

So now begins "The Great 13 Day Fast"! (I know it's not a very creative name, but I suck at making titles...)


~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 2 of the 3 Day Jump Start Fast

31 hours and 45 minutes into my "3 day jump start fast."
Weight Lost on my "3 day jump start fast": 2.4 lbs

I've only been up for maybe an hour, so I have yet to let anything pass my lips. :)


Yesterday was fun, but so exhausting. My aunt got her nails done first and then went to the Cafe next store and when she came back, she had 2 chicken quesadilla's with sour cream! For obvious reasons, I didn't touch mine, but she devoured that thing! I don't get it. If I would have eaten one bite of that I would have gained 5 lbs, but she inhales it and she's thin. >.< Okay, she's more like the heaviest you can be at a healthy weight, but still...

Wanna see what my nails look like?

I like them.


When I arrived at my house after getting them done, my mother wasn't there and I didn't have my key or cell phone. I had to walk 2+ miles to find a pay phone to call my aunt and have her come back and get me. When she picked me up, she brought me to her house and I spent the rest of the day watching Tokyo Majin(-anime-) with my cousin.


Day 1 Food Intake:


2 servings of apple sauce-140/0
1 serving of fat free frozen yogurt-150/0
2 cups of fat free milk-172/0
1 multi vitamin-5/0
6 glasses of water-0/0


Total Calories/Fat: 467/0


Day 1 Exercise:


40 minutes of slow walking-200 calories?


Net Calories:267


Since I didn't get home until late, I didn't get a chance to clean my house, and I only got in 2 hours of work(My work is a 5 minute walk from my house and I have a key to get in.) I might clean my house today, but I'm exhausted.  


Well I'm off to have my vitamin.


~Little Miss Imperfect

Day 1 of the 3 Day Jump Start Fast

9 hours and 57 minutes into my "3 day jump start fast."

I've had my multivitamin(-5 calories-) and I hate the taste... I only have 5 swallow able vitamins, so I'm saving them...

I'm leaving to get my nails done with my aunt at 10am-10:30am and am holding off on my breakfast. I figure that I'll have a serving of apple sauce(-70 calories-) for breakfast and bring a water bottle with me to the salon. We may get Starbucks, in which case I will order a grande skinny iced latte(-80 calories-) They're really good, and have 6 grams of protein, no fat, and only 10 grams of sugar.

I regrettably did not sleep last night. When I got in bed at 1am(Early, I know.) I just wasn't tired. I stayed up all night finishing re watching the first season of True Blood(ADDICTIVE!)

Now I AM tired and have a lot to do today. I'm getting my nails done, cleaning the whole up stairs of my house(bathroom, kitchen, my room, and the living room.) I'm probably going to do some house work and out door work for my aunt, so I can earn some extra cash, and then I may go to work for a few hours(my hours are adjustable.)

As my friend would say, I'm going to be a busy bee.

Lol.

I have 5 minutes to finish getting ready, so bye.

~Little Miss Imperfect

Let Me Introduce Myself

I am Little Miss Imperfect and if you happen to stumble upon this page, congratulations, you win 1 million dollars.

I'm kidding people!

Anyways, I am in no possible way a writer. I wish I were someone who's articulate writing skills drew the reader(That's you!) in, but I'm not. If you were looking for a blog that was well written, than I must apologize in advance. Sorry.

I am writing this blog to document my daily life and thoughts. Nearly everything I do is centered around me losing weight or the struggles I have with losing weight. I will admit that my attempts at weight loss are not usually healthy and that I have been diagnosed with EDNOS(Eating disorder not otherwise specified.)

I have been on so many diets in my 14 years of life, it's pathetic. I'll name a few: The cabbage soup diet, Weight Watchers, the 3 a day fruit diet, the 3 day diet, 0-2-4-6-8, 2-4-6-8, ABC(Ana Boot Camp), the candy diet, the coffee diet, the vegan diet, the vegetarian diet, The NO fat what-so-ever diet, the super oatmeal diet, the rainbow diet, the master cleanse, using various diet pills, the morning banana diet, fasting, and of course healthy eating/exercise.

(Please don't judge me for only being 14, I go to school and work just like the rest of you.)

I have 17 days until I turn 15 and 24 days until I start my sophomore year of high school. I figure I can easily lose 10.2 lbs by the time school starts.

How forgetful of me. I forgot to mention that I am fat and I don't mean I'm chubby or that I'm thin and have an anorexic outlook on myself. I at one time was morbidly obese! Currently I'm obese and hope to be overweight by March 31st. To be classified as overweight, I need to lose 63.5 lbs. Now to shamefully tell you my statistics.

H:5'9.5"

HW:291 lbs(Grotesque, I know.)

SW/CW:269.2lbs(Slightly less grotesque?)

GW1:259lbs-(By August 17th, 24 days from now.)

I'll be honest, losing 10.2 lbs in 24 days is not that difficult, for me anyways.

Ideally, I would like to have lost a total of 146 lbs by the first day of my junior year of high school, which is in about 1 year and 10 days, give or take a few days. Since I've lost 21.8 lbs, I need to lose 124.2 lbs more to reach my goal weight of 145 lbs in the allotted time. This is a big goal. I haven't been 145 lbs since 4th grade(I don't know how I became 215 lbs by 6th grade...)

I'm hoping this will work. I mean can you lose 5 years of fat in 1? I guess I'll have to wait to find out.

To jump start my weight loss, I'm going on a 3 day fast. This I can stick too. Water, V8 Fusion, ice, apple sauce, coffee, Sugar Free Red Bull, fat free frozen yogurt, vitamins, diet pills, Ice Tea(No Sugar!), and fat free milk are allowed. After the 3 day fast, there will be a 3 day transition period in which the above, fruit, and vegetables will be allowed.

To make this even more beneficial for myself, I will start using my new Olay facial scrub each night, before I go to bed(I have acne...I'm a teenager, it's normal!!! >.< !!!!) Also, I will start brushing my teeth and using mouth wash 2-5 times a day, instead of my once a day. Also, I will start using lotion to make my skin super soft(It's already soft, but I want silky smooth. Lol.)

With everything I'm doing, hopefully I look incredibly different by the time this is over.

I'm getting my nails done with my aunt tomorrow at 10am and she'll probably take me to lunch, or try to. I'm going to tell her the truth, I'm fasting. This shall be interesting.

~Little Miss Imperfect